Tuesday, April 10, 2007

ALAN CHURCHMAN TRIES TO GET SOME SENSE OUT OF CHAS COLE ABOUT THE SEFTON POPS (and regrettably, fails...)

PUBLIC HEALTH WARNING:

THERE NOW FOLLOWS SOME EMAIL CORRESPONDENCE BETWEEN THE VENERABLE ALAN CHURCHMAN AND CHAS 'SHOW ME THE MONEY' COLE, REGARDING THE SEFTON POPS.

We have long since given up trying to apply logic and reason to Mr Cole and his dealings with the city council, but on the basis of this rather tortuous correspondence and his somewhat paranoid and deluded reaction to Mr Churchman's perfectly reasonable questions, it seems as though poor Chas may need some therapeutic help. Thanks Alan for letting us in on this. (If anyone can shed any light on any obvious deterioration in Chas's mental health or explain what he is on about, please feel free, ed).

It's probably best to read this correspondence from the bottom up, otherwise you are all going to get hopelessly confused. Alan Churchman is in italics, Mr Cole's comments are highlighted in bold....


My position has been clear and consistent. This is a matter involving public money and is therefore of public interest. I therefore want a public (on the record response) from yourself and ideally those within the City Council who were also involved in this very unusual decision. If you have no intention of providing on the record responses to my quite reasonable questions, then I have no desire to brighten up your social life.

I suspect this correspondence is closed.


Chas Cole wrote:

Lets meet up then. When you free?


I was not aware that I was under cover. I don't have anything worth covering up.

Chas Cole wrote:

Why don’t you break from cover and meet for a chat and a drink...


I am sure you are a charming drinking companion, but the purpose of my original email was to get a public and on record response to my questions. I cannot quite understand why our elected representatives or our local media are not showing more interest in sheding light on this opaque and questionable process, but that is the story of Liverpool.

Chas Cole wrote:

Where / when do you want to meet for a beer?




Is he the guy with whiskers on his chinnigan? (presumably a friend of Old King Cole)



PS I wonder who the fiddlers three are?

Chas Cole wrote:

MATTHEW FINNEGAN – Alistair’s friend!


I don't know who "Matt" is but I would be willing to share a beer if you were willing to share some explanation and justification for your ongoing exploitation of City Council Tax payers.

Mr Cole, it is my belief that the circumstances surrounding your re-appointment are far from transparent and would (if this City was administered properly) now be subject to some form of proper scrutiny. I realise that there is little prospect of this happening and that I am quite probably waisting my time pursuing this matter.
You could of course surprise me and actually answer the questions that I put to you some weeks ago.

Chas Cole wrote:

Hi Matt
Why don’t we get together for a beer!
Chas
PS. Was watching the Queen DVD the other day and thought about you! Alistair!!

Dear Mr Cole,

Australian Pink Floyd?
What next, The Japanese Wurzels?
If this is world-class entertainment worthy of public subsidy, then I am Tony Parrish.
Yours sincerely,
Alan K. Churchman.

Chas Cole
CMP Entertainment - Music & Sport
08 Place
36-38 Whitechapel
Liverpool
Merseyside
England L1 6DZ
Tel +44 (0) 151 708 6050Fax +44 (0) 151 707 0400E-mail chascole@cmplive.com
http://www.cmplive.com

(We think Chas must have finally lost it, ed)

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'll go out for beer with you Chas me very very good old mate

Anonymous said...

Chas is obviously a piss head and thinks by making you the same that you will stop picking on him?

Keep it up, its rather funny.

Anonymous said...

What about me Coley, can I tag along for a bowl of beer to lap up?

Anonymous said...

I bet those two skimp their rounds and Chas pays for it all